CLIFFS OF INSANITY: A PRINCESS BRIDE DANCE PARTY AND BATTLE OF WITS!
Get ready for the insanity on May 22 in Winnipeg, MB at the Albert! Trivia game show, prizes for best costumes and dancefloor melters to sweat to. Damage is $7 at the door or $5 with a costume. Inconceivable.
It's hard to believe it's happening so soon. I've been waiting for this all my life. So let's make sure we're all prepared for the insanity. And the cliffs.
To help you get ready for this historic event, we’ve provided you with the indispensable “Cliffs of Insanity Checklist”:
Put final touches on costume (sew on that final finger on the leather glove, make sure the mask fits nice and snug, wrangle four white horses)
Make sure your posse is coming
Watch The Princess Bride one last time, to get those finer trivia details for The Battle of Wits
Read The Princess Bride one last time, for those extra special details
Practice hand-eye reflexes to make sure you can ring that buzzer fast enough for the competition
Practice Inigo Montoya impression for the “Inigo-Off”**
Pull out comfy shoes for hours of dancing to Mama Cutsworth’s eversodelightful music
Doors open at 9 pm so you can come sign up for the Battle of Wits. All are welcome! The prizes for BofW contestants are very wonderful, just saying.
The Albert is at 48 Albert street in Winnipeg.
$7 or $5 with a costume!
**Ever been to a pig calling contest? It’s like that.
My friend Kent is a wordly young man, and today Rodents Of Unusual Size came up, as they so often do in daily conversation. He asked me if I knew about the capybara of South America, the closest thing we have to an R.O.U.S. Seriously, these are big suckers.
Related to the common guinea pig, Hydrochoerus hydrochaeris is the largest rodent on the earth and can weigh up to 140 pounds (but the largest one recorded was a whopping 232 pounds (that's just insane (parentheses!))). They like living in dense forest areas with plenty of water around, like lakes, rivers and swamps. Perhaps even fire swamps... who knows?
One good thing is that they don't eat meat, so we humans are safe. One gross thing is that they are "coprophagous," which means they eat their own feces for bacteria to aid in their digestion.
Now here's where it gets surreal. Some people have capybaras as pets. House pets. With leashes. Check it:
CLIFFS OF INSANITY is going to be insane on May 22. Perhaps that's obvious. But it wouldn't be, couldn't be, as insane if it wasn't for some supporters from the local business community. Let's just take a moment to say THANK YOU to the following folks:
Phyllis Dalton, born in England in 1925, was the costume designer for The Princess Bride. She began work as an assistant in the costume department for movies like Scrooge (1951), a film I still find so creepy, but that's another thing.
The cool "did you know?" part about Dalton's work is that she did costume design for really big films in the 1960s. That era seems to have been her career heyday, with credits such as Lawrence of Arabia (1962), Doctor Zhivago (1965) and Oliver! (1968) under her belt. I know, impressive, huh?
By the time the '80s rolled around, she was doing work for TV primarily, shows and movies that, at least for me, don't spark any big memories. Does anyone remember Arthur the King with Candice Bergen and Liam Neeson?
Nonetheless, she was an award-winning and and -nominated designer and I'm glad she worked on one of my favourite '80s films, The Princess Bride. Can you imagine the Man in Black any other way? Or Vizzini without ornate Sicilian embroidery on his clothes? Or Count Rugen without his velvet outfit. It's just so perfect.
Do you ever sing along to a song but don't really know all the words, so for years and years you kind of just sing your own version? "Hold Me Closer Tony Danza" isn't a song people.
Anyhow, for the years I grew up watching The Princess Bride - and before there was internet - I just kind of glossed over parts of Andre the Giant's lines in the script. There are plenty of quotable quotes from Fezzik ("Anybody want a peanut?" and "I only dog paddle" being prime examples of short and sweet lines that are burned into my heart forever), but maybe they're so memorable because, aside from being hilarious, they're some of the easiest lines to understand through Andre's think French accent. In the '80s, it was easy to miss many of Fezzik's words, but now thanks to this "internet," we can finally take solace in knowing the real lines. And that it's Tiny Dancer.
======
Inigo: That Vizzini, he can fuss.
Fezzik: Fuss, fuss...I think he like to scream... at us.
Inigo: Probably he means no harm.
Fezzik: He's really very short on... charm.
Inigo: You have a great gift for rhyme.
Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.
Vizzini: Enough of that!
Inigo: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead!
Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it!
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?
======
[Scene: Climbing the Cliffs. Inigo, Vizzini and Buttercup are
clinging to
Fezzik, as he climbs a rope to the top]
Inigo: He's climbing the rope. And he's gaining on us.
Vizzini: Inconceivable! [pause] FASTER!
Fezzik: I thought I was going faster.
Vizzini: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THIS COLOSSUS, YOU WERE THIS
GREAT LEGENDARY THING, AND YET HE GAINS!
Fezzik: Well, I'm carrying three people, and he's got only
himself.
Vizzini: I DO NOT ACCEPT EXCUSES! I'M JUST GOING TO HAVE TO
FIND MYSELF A NEW GIANT, THAT'S ALL.
Fezzik: Don't say that, Vizzini. Please?
Vizzini: DID I MAKE IT CLEAR THAT YOUR JOB IS AT STAKE?
======
[Scene: At the top. Fezzik, Vizzini and Inigo are looking down at
the masked man climbing the cliff after Vizzini has cut the rope]
Fezzik: He's got very good arms.
Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE!
Inigo: You keep using that word. I do not think it means
what you think it means. [pause] My God! He's
climbing!
Vizzini: Whoever he is, he's obviously seen us with the
princess and must therefore die. You, carry her.
We'll head straight for the Gilder frontier. Catch
up when he's dead. If he falls, fine. If not, the
sword.
Inigo: I'm going to do him left-handed.
Vizzini: YOU KNOW WHAT A HURRY WE'RE IN!
Inigo: Is is the only way I can be satisfied. If I use my
right, over too quickly.
Vizzini: Oh, have it your way.
Fezzik: You be careful. People in masks cannot be trusted.
Vizzini: I'M WAITING!
[Vizzini, Fezzik and Buttercup depart the Ruins,
leaving Inigo to prepair for the masked man]
======
[Scene: Halfway up a hill, nearby boulders. Vizzini sees the
black figure of Roberts moving towards them]
Vizzini: INCONCEIVABLE! Give her to me. Catch up with us
quickly.
Fezzik: What do I do?
Vizzini: FINISH HIM, FINISH HIM! YOUR WAY!
Fezzik: Oh good, my way. Thank you, Vizzini.
[Fezzik pauses, thinking]
Which way's my way?
Vizzini: Pick up one of those rocks, get behind the boulder.
In a few minutes the man in black will come running
around the bend. The minute his head is in view, HIT
IT WITH THE ROCK!!
Fezzik: My way's not very sportsmanlike.
[Roberts approaches the boulders, then slows down.
A rock disintegrates itself just in front of him]
Fezzik: I did that on purpose. I didn't have to miss.
Dread Pirate Roberts:
I believe you. [pause] So what happens now?
Fezzik: We face each other as God intended...sportmanlike. No
tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.
Dread Pirate Roberts:
You mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down
my sword and we'll try and kill each other like
civilized people?
Fezzik: I could kill you now.
Dread Pirate Roberts:
Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor
at hand fighting.
Fezzik: It's not my fault being the biggest and the
strongest. I don't even exercise.
[Roberts puts down the sword, and begins to pummel
Fezzik,
to no effect]
Dread Pirate Roberts:
Look, are you just fiddling around with me or what?
Fezzik: I just want you to feel you're doing well. I hate for
people to die embarrassed.
[Roberts dodges swipes from Fezzik]
You're quick.
Dread Pirate Roberts:
And a good thing, too.
Fezzik: Why are you wearing a mask? Were you burned by acid
or something like that?
Dread Pirate Roberts:
Oh no, it's just they're terribly comfortable. I
think everyone'll be wearing them in the future.
Fezzik: I just figured why you give me so much trouble.
Dread Pirate Roberts:
Why's that, do you think?
Fezzik: Well, I haven't fought just one person for so long.
I've been specializing in groups. Battling gangs for
local charities, that kind of thing.
Dread Pirate Roberts:
Why should that make such a < strained > difference?
Fezzik: Well, you see, you use different moves when you're
fighting half a dozen people than when you only have
to be worried about ... one.
[Fezzik drops unconscious to the ground]
Dread Pirate Roberts:
I do not envy you the headache you will have when you
awake. But, in the meantime, rest well, and dream of
large women.
Hope that helps a bit.
Major compliments go out to http://hirsutehistory.com/, the originator of the Andre hair image above. They've got a giant line of amazing t-shirt images featuring historical hair. Go check it out.
There are so many good stories in the making of the Princess Bride.
Like how the author, William Goldman, wanted to use a then-unknown Arnold Shwarzenegger to play Fezzik. This was in the '70s, when Goldman was first trying to get the film made (it wasn't made until '87). He thought Arnold would work instead of his first pick, Andre the Giant, whom he figured he'd never be able to score. When he was finally able to make the film in the '80s, Shwarzenegger was too big-time to do the role and they couldn't afford him. You know who ended up with the gig.
Andre had major back problems by the time the shooting happened. They were so bad he couldn't really lift heavy things, including Robin Wright when Buttercup jumps from the castle window into Fezzik's arms. The crew had to attach wires to Wright to hold her up, because Andre couldn't support her weight. (This fact always make me sad.)
Remember that scene in the forest when Count Rugen hits Westley over the head? Cary Elwes told Chris Guest to just go ahead and hit him for real. The hit was hard enough to send Elwes to the hospital and shut down production for a day.
As a coin collector (the truth comes out: I am nerdy in more ways than one), the two rivaling kingdoms of Florin and Guilder are named after two former Dutch currencies, the Florijn and Gulden.
There's plenty more random facts about the movie. Got any? Post below!
Hello! Welcome to the new daily blog of the biggest fan of The Princess Bride and DJ, Mama Cutsworth. Words cannot express my love for this 1987 classic, and I hope there are plenty of you out there who love it too. Which is why we're having a party. I usually throw dance parties, which is definitely an element of this event (happening May 22 in Winnipeg).
But there's something else: we're having a trivia game show competition. We've got a bow-tied host lined up, buzzers, prizes... you know, stuff that makes it cuckoo bananas. This is where you come in. Re-watch the movie and memorize it. Remember every character, every quote, every detail. Then show up early (between 9-10 pm) and put your name on the list of competitors and get ready to flex your trivia muscle in front a live audience!
That's it for today, but in the mean time answer the poll on this site and stay tuned for some trivia tips, quizzes and more, here at cliffsofinsanitywinnipeg!
